Ok, y’all, in the interest of being fully transparent, I have to admit to you that this week’s post was a hard one to get up on the blog.

Not because it needed extra creativity or photo and graphic work done. Not because it was emotionally draining to put into words. Not because the topic was super technical or difficult to explain.

Nope, none of those more obvious reasons at all.

The reason this post was difficult for me to get published can be attributed to one thing: anxiety.

And, no, not anxiety about this particular post…just general, somewhat debilitating, anxiety.

I’ve told you before that I’ve struggled with my fair share of anxious thoughts over the years. Most of which went away when Wildland Man and I made a major career shift and changed the trajectory of our lives.

Then this little thing called infertility became a part of our story.

And the anxiety that has come with this infertility, it is a monster, y’all. A sneaky monster. Because, just when I think I’m doing fine, have it all together, and am mastering control of the anxiety that surrounds the unknown that comes with this infertility journey…it comes back, it slithers back into my life, so sneakily that I don’t even notice it bothering me at first.

Then, somewhere along the way, I realize that anxiety is in control. That I’ve let it get me off my game, take me off track, and ruin my focus.

Now, as a Christian, I also recognize that this is when I need to turn to God to get through the mess of emotions. But it seems like I come to that conclusion after the anxiety and worry have already dug their claws in and are making plans to stick around for a while.

So, yes, once I realize anxiety is taking over, I do reach out to God. I pray…a lot. I meditate. I slow down. I breathe. And God does bring me peace in those moments.

But the anxiety doesn’t just shut off.

The brain keeps going a mile a minute. It’s like a subconscious worry I don’t even know is happening half the time. Like my current state is just running a bit more frazzled.

Now, let me just interject here that I’m not sharing this anxiety struggle with you for your sympathies or your permission to be late in getting a post published on the blog. I’m trying to share a piece of my life that maybe some of you don’t know.

Or maybe you do, maybe anxiety is a monster for you, too. Either way, I’m just trying to be real with you.

So, yeah, this week’s post was a tough one to get done…because I had to take a step back and clear my head. I had to invite God in and ask for help in managing my time and priorities. And in taking a moment for me, the blog got sidelined this week.

Of course, it doesn’t help that Wildland Man is away on a detail so I’m working through this struggle on my own at the moment.

This fire season has already been a bit rough on me. My hubby, he is my rock. He keeps me sane when the anxiety makes me crazy. He helps me to keep my priorities in check. And with all that we are enduring emotionally in this season of our lives, it’s just hard to have him not be physically present right now.

Wildland Man and I are about to celebrate 10 years of marriage. I can barely believe it’s been that long. I just love, love, love being married to my best friend in the world. Whenever our anniversary comes along I find myself reminiscing about the good ‘ole dating years. I think about how God uniquely and specifically placed us in each other’s lives.

But, man, those dating years. Sure, they were fun and new and exciting. But they were also pretty rocky. Mostly because of my own commitment issues, if I’m being honest.

You see, I had a lot of rules for our dating years. Before Wildland Man, I only ever dated for about 3 months, and then I’d break it off and run for the hills. It seemed to me that things started to get to a more serious level after 3 months and if I didn’t see marriage in the future, I just bailed. It was a big deal when Wildland Man and I continued dating beyond 3 months.

I had a rule about break-ups, too. I did not believe in taking breaks while in a relationship. My theory was if things got tough, we had two choices: either break-up and move on or hang on and fight for our relationship to make it through. I just didn’t want to get into a break-up / get-back-together cycle in our relationship.

That rule was probably the hardest. We were young and in college when we started dating. There was still a lot of growth to be had individually and as a couple. We were changing and becoming our own people while also trying to maintain a long-term relationship. Add in the fact that over half of our 4 years of dating was done from a distance, and we had our bumps in the road that almost broke us.

But we chose to hang on. We never broke up. We never walked away. We fought for our love.

Love is a beautiful thing. It is an emotion that God created for us to experience while on this earth.

But that doesn’t make it easy. The enemy seeks to kill and destroy. And sometimes, it can feel like there is no way that love can win. That is when you have to dig in and realize that love is worth fighting for.

Strengthening Your Marriage

So, where’s your marriage at these days? Could it use a little bolstering? Are you ready to fight for your love, even when it isn’t easy?

As we are preparing for our second annual Wife on Fire Challenge here at Country Wife Chronicles, I thought it might be appropriate to share some relevant blog posts as a quick refresher course. May these blog posts encourage and inspire you to fight for your marriage…to strengthen your relationship and set your Marriage on Fire!

This week, let’s revisit CWC’s “Strengthening Your Marriage” series.

Strengthening Your Marriage: 5 Ways to Reconnect

It takes an intentional effort to make marriage great. Build a foundation for a strong marriage on faith, God, and the Bible for instruction and guidance. And never quit trying; never quit making an effort.

Strengthening Your Marriage: 5 More Ways to Reconnect

Get 5 more tips for reconnecting in your marriage with this blog post and discover a strengthened relationship.

Strengthening Your Marriage: DIY Marriage Retreat

Plan a getaway centered around discussion, prayer, and relationship building. Strengthen your marriage with a fulfilling and purposeful weekend designed for just the two of you.

Build up and strengthen your marriage with a DIY Marriage Retreat! Grab this freebie and plan a getaway today. Customize it to your own preferences and plan a quick vacay with your hubby before summer runs out.

Wife on Fire Challenge 2018

Fourteen years of being together between dating and marriage, and Wildland Man is still my favorite person on this planet. He is the one I could talk to forever. He is the one that truly sees me for me, no guards, no barriers, just the real me. His embrace is my home; no matter where we go, as long as we are together, I am home.

The best decision I have ever made in my life was to marry this man. And this decision has led us down some rocky roads. We are currently on the hardest journey we’ve ever experienced together. But, we are committed to one another, before God, to endure the tough days. The challenges that lie ahead in this valley of infertility are yet to be seen. But I know that we are meant to search for the streams together.

If you are looking for a deeper connection in your relationship, won’t you join us in this year’s Wife on Fire Challenge?

The Wife on Fire Challenge is a 4-week challenge to be a Wife on Fire for your marriage! You’ll be encouraged to keep the flame burning in your marriage with weekly intentional efforts here at Country Wife Chronicles.

We’ll be kicking off this year’s Wife on Fire Challenge in August—so just keep stopping by the blog for more info. And, in the meantime, be sure to check out what we did last year:

• Wife on Fire Challenge {Week 1}: Introducing the Wife on Fire Challenge

• Wife on Fire Challenge {Week 2}: Be a Wife on Fire

• Wife on Fire Challenge {Week 3}: Halfway There!

• Wife on Fire Challenge {Week 4}: It’s the Grand Finale! 

Be Still & Know…