(in)Fertility: Meant to be a Mama

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I always knew I wanted to be a mama. I babysat for neighbors and my sisters growing up; in college I roomed with my toddler niece. I chose education as my major, helped out with summer camps, and became a high school science teacher. I loved being around children and just always felt “called” to be a mother one day. 

I wasn’t sure how, when, or what it would look like. Adoption was something that started to tug at my heart in my 20’s. But, then again, I always had an intuition that I would carry my own child in my womb. When I met my husband, we knew we wanted some time to just be us before we started a family. So, we took a few years to enjoy the newlywed bliss before trying to conceive.

I never imagined it would be so difficult to conceive a child.

As friends my age continued to announce pregnancies and my three older sisters’ families continued to grow, I began to feel left behind. When would it be my turn? I started to feel like I wasn’t fitting in with my peers anymore. Everyone else seemed to be in mama mode, everyone but me.

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Marriage & Infertility

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This post was originally published on April 16, 2018 and republished on May 17, 2021.

Wildland Man and I’ve been struggling with infertility for a few years now. I suppose this journey we’re on authorizes me to speak to the toll infertility can take on a marriage.

Because infertility is definitely a couples’ thing. When you are trying for a family, it doesn’t matter if the infertility can be pinpointed to one individual or not, the process of being able to conceive and carry your own child is something you deal with together.

And let’s be real, this marriage thing, it’s tough.

It’s quite possibly one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in life. It’s a constant ebb and flow of putting another’s needs in front of your own, setting aside your own selfish desires over and over again. It’s serving one another, building each other up, and encouraging instead of discouraging. It’s choosing forgiveness in anger. It’s loving through the hard times.

And infertility, well, it can make all of that…just so much harder.

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(in)Fertility: All-In

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Married by 25, check. Ready to start a family by 30, check-check. Done growing my family by 35…No check mark. Not even close. I was 36 and still not pregnant.

It seemed like everything I had planned for was falling apart. All the plans I had made, adjusting my career to follow my husband’s so that I could stay home with our babies. Setting up our entire life’s timeline around starting a family. All of this planning was a complete and utter waste.

I felt like my body had failed me. Or I had failed it. I was in the depths of the infertility valley and I was grappling with feelings of inadequacy and defeat. I felt alone in my struggles.

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My Endo Action Plan {Part 4}

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This post was originally published on April 9, 2018 and republished on May 3, 2021.

We’ve been talking endometriosis…a lot. Let’s recap, shall we?

In “Just a Girl with Killer Cramps,” I disclosed my recent diagnosis of stage IV endometriosis with you. I shared the symptoms I’ve experienced over the years and I discussed what endometriosis is and why it is so critical to spread awareness in order for more young women to get diagnosed sooner.

Trying for Baby…with Endometriosis” uncovered some of the deeper emotional scars endometriosis has created for me, especially as Wildland Man and I are so desperately praying for, hoping for, and trying for a baby.

And, finally, the last few weeks have focused on My Endo Action Plan. We talked nutrition. Specifically, real, whole, and anti-inflammatory foods that show promise in being able to heal endometriosis naturally. And we’ve talked fitness, faith, and marriage. We’ve covered the full spectrum of what it means to shift into a healing lifestyle.

In this final post of the Endo Awareness Series on Country Wife Chronicles I’m sharing with you the last of my ideas when it comes to My Endo Action Plan.

Let’s wrap things up, ok? Read more

My Endo Action Plan {Part 3}

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This post was originally published on April 2, 2018 and republished on April 26, 2021.

Endometriosis Awareness Month may be over, but I’m just getting started with My Endo Action Plan!

Over the last two weeks here at CWC we’ve been talking nutrition and it’s impact on healing endometriosis naturally.

Today, we’re tackling some other aspects of My Endo Action Plan…because there is a whole lot more to healing than just nutrition.

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My Endo Action Plan {Part 2}

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This post was originally published on March 26, 2018 and republished on April 19, 2021.

This week we are continuing with My Endo Action Plan. Last week I shared with you some of the resources that have helped me in developing my own personal action plan to fight endometriosis and find healing.

This week we are going to take a closer look at how those nutritional changes look in real life.

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My Endo Action Plan {Part 1}

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This post was originally published on March 19, 2018 and republished on April 12, 2021.

Last week was pretty raw, I know.

My hope is that someone out there can relate to my honesty and no longer feel alone. Or that someone else now has a better understanding of what a loved one may endure if they are struggling with endometriosis and/or infertility.

Trying for Baby…with Endometriosis” was a candid look at where I am in real life at the moment. And sometimes I just need to experience the lows with the highs. I work through the downer moments the best I can, and yeah, sometimes I may wallow a bit longer than I should.

But, in the end, I remind myself of where my hope lies. I say a prayer for the good Lord to pull me through. And I pick myself up off the floor and figure out my next move.

You know by now that I’m a planner, a lister, a doer. I like to have a game plan in front of me with a goal to work toward. So, after working through the emotional side of coming to terms with my endometriosis diagnosis and the struggles I’m now facing with natural conception as a result of endometriosis, I am ready to get an action plan in place.

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From Endo to (In)Fertility

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Country Wife Chronicles is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

I am a blogger, a mama, and a wife, and my goal is to help other women feel empowered and supported in their fertility journeys. Because I have walked my own road with infertility…for six long years.

I have felt hopeless, isolated, and defeated.

But then I decided to take action. To take charge of my own fertility story. I did everything I could to support myself physically and emotionally. I researched all the information regarding fertility. I spent months educating myself and then implementing huge lifestyle shifts in the name of Intentional Fertility

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Trying for Baby…with Endometriosis

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This post was originally published on March 12, 2018 and updated on March 29, 2021.

I found out I had endometriosis when my husband and I began trying for a baby.

I wish I could have been diagnosed sooner.

The attempted baby making has come to a screeching halt in light of this diagnosis. Partly because with stage IV endometriosis I’m at a much higher risk for an ectopic pregnancy, partly because as this post gets published I’m in recovery mode from surgery #2, and finally because we’ve decided to prioritize improving my health and healing from endometriosis over adding a baby to the mix for the moment.

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Intentional Fertility

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So…it’s been a good eight months since I last dropped by the blog for any length of time.

You may not realize this unless you are a blogger yourself, but writing blog posts is just one tiny, tiny piece of the puzzle of running a blog. It has been nice to let everything go on autopilot for these last few months.

I just felt like if I was going to take a break, then that break should be legit. A clean break from computer screens and self-inflicted deadlines. And that is exactly what this blog hiatus was all about.

Though I left you with a blog post about entering a season of rest, I have to be utterly honest with you… these past eight months haven’t just been relaxation for me. Rather, what used to be time spent working on Country Wife Chronicles quickly transitioned into time researching and implementing major lifestyle shifts in the name of #intentionalfertility.

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